It’s always a cow’s opinion

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I’m plowing through a class on ‘Global Economics’ at Business School nowadays. A euphemism for a class on Macro-economics for Managers, aka How to interpret complicated Economic Times / Financial Times / Economist articles and make sense of really. really, really, smart guys. I am being uncharitable of course, the class is a lot more than that; but the immediate marginal benefit (see what I mean) is being able to make sense of the economic-goings-on in the world and no longer have a ‘whaaat?’ expression on one’s face when reading Mankiw.

Of course, macro-economics cannot be complete without some Cow jokes. They proliferate like randy heifers in mating season, with nary a thought towards political correctness, good taste and most certainly not the vaguest political sense. This latest wave of cow’s opinions (to channel the Joey gene, present in us all) instigated this post, a collection of the higher epic-hilarity rated cows jokes I’ve come across.

To begin, the latest are some gems from a link I received recently:

Lebanon
You have two cows. Syria claims ownership over them. You take them abroad and start successful cattle farms in Africa, Australia, and Latin America. You send the proceeds back home so your relatives can afford cosmetic surgery and Mercedes-Benzes.

Hosni Mubarak’s Egypt
You have 10 cows. Neglect to tend to them, but prevent them from fighting Israel in order to get milk from America.

Post-Mubarak Egypt
You have 10 cows who think they now own the farm. There’s still no milk.

Israel
You have two bulls. Pretend they are helpless calves.

The next set are a series of jokes / images authored by the Economic Times, which I am unfortunately unable to find on the first page of Google (the marginal cost of checking page 2 tends to infinity). These went viral on corporate emails and other places a few years ago, and now appear to have proliferated everywhere. Except at the Economic Times website itself. Of course. Anymoo, with no further udder:

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My personal favorites are Citigroup and our beloved Tatagroup. 🙂

Of course, the nature of a virus is to mutate. This is another hilarious take on the cow idea, but with dishwashing courtesy ThePaperWall: (clickage for FULL size)

Whats your ism?

Thats all folks.

Inception confused the pope too

The Pope recently said that Technology confuses reality and fiction. Now like most people in 2010, I thought he had watched Inception and was questioning which dream-level he was on.

Then I realized he was talking about the use of images. Not carbon nanotubes. Not graphene. Not some new psychobabble or Richard Dawkins work. Pictures.

Then I realized this speech was at an event organized by the ‘Pontifical Council for Social Communications’, a group charged with spreading the Gospel through the media.

Irony? Hilarity? Both? No idea.

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Sony Fantasy Festival – The Emperor’s new clothes

Sony and Last.fm launched a “Fantasy Music Festival” recently.

A conceptual rip of the good ole’ cult-status Fantasy Football run by / participated in by just about every bladder-following sentient and their dog, this one expects you to pick a list of bands to make a lineup for a fantasy music festival.  It’s quite easy to initially think this is a make-your-own-supergroup thing, but its not.

Scoring is a nice opaque only-Sony-knows-how thing called “buzz”, which has some connection to the amount of talk about the group online. (Are they watching t3h t0rrentz?? o_O). Here’s the official blarb:

“We calculate *Buzz points by working out the amount of plays your acts get on Last.fm and, by using Yahoo! data, how many mentions they get on blogs or social networking sites like Twitter”

And whoever created the page for adding bands needs to lookup the concept of “user-friendly”.

So all in all, what this achieves is:

1. More inactive members on last.fm (oh yeah, you need a last.fm ID for this)

2. More emails to send spam to. (Apparently you should not end a sentence with a conjunction. Feel free to append a swear-word of your choice to the end of the sentence)

3. Kanye West ends up on every list.

Link courtesy RubbishCorp, which is a really good site.

IE8 Released, Hacked

“IE8 gets people to the information they need, fast, and provides protection that no other browser can match.”

So says Steve Ballmer, at the full public release of Internet Explorer 8.

But he made the mistake of releasing it during PwnToOwn 2009. Some guy called “Nils” took down both IE8 and Mozilla.

Even with the double-whammy and singular pleasure of taking down a browser the same day that its released, “Nils” was pipped by our friend from last year, Charlie Miller. SECONDS into the start of PwnToOwn, and he takes down Safari/Mac with a single malicious link, taking control of the Macbook. Now he does have to relinquish control since he owns it. literally.

So its the same old, same old. Apple is thrashed, Windows is clubbed, and Open-Source escapes with a black eye.

Mobile OSs still to come on PwnToOwn. Watch this space.